Year 4 Blog

Year 4 Blog

Welcome to our blog

Here you will find weekly information for Sycamore and Maple Classes.

The battle of the Ratites!

JulyPosted by Year 4 Wed, July 12, 2017 10:05:22
In the beginning, It all started in Rat bay. When overlord Rat executed a Lime,the town of Limeville went crazy,smashing bricks and getting weapons ready to fight.But luckily overlord Rat put a CCTV camera disguised as a clock in the village.He got ready to fight excitedly he told his fellow rats to tell Lord Lime that they are going to meet at the swamp"we will fight on land and water."The next day they met at 3 in the morning! They both got their battleships on the water,a Lime was shot overboard the Rats got a clear shot on the boat the Rats had WON! By Tom

Fill in only if you are not real

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Posted by Tracey Thatcher Sun, July 16, 2017 09:54:39

Lovely to see this story on the blog and I know how hard you have worked this year Thomas to improve. In time you will be able to put these comments to good use and will be able to get all of your punctuation correct. One very proud mummy here x Haha, and I've tried to make sure all my punctuation is correct too!!!

Posted by Appletiger Fri, July 14, 2017 09:43:52

WWW: I like the theme and opener. EBI: You forgot to put a full stop or comma before we will fight.

Posted by Chowder owl Fri, July 14, 2017 09:42:34

WWW (what went well) you have used short sentences that made it effective in the right places! EBI (even better if) you checked your work over and put a space after the full stops

Posted by Spaghetti kitten Fri, July 14, 2017 09:33:20

WWW- I like your opener at the start and your adverbs .EBI- You put inverted commas next to The next day when it's not speech .

Posted by Mint dolphin Fri, July 14, 2017 09:30:08

It is good but you need to put full stops in.😱

Posted by Cheese panda Fri, July 14, 2017 09:28:06

WWW- I liked how you adapted your village from the grinch instead of whoville you put limeville EBI- when you put excitedly you should have put a comma before it

Posted by Teapig Fri, July 14, 2017 09:18:54

This is a very good story. It is something you would not think put a speech but there was no speech. Oops